you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize