remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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