can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
