someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize