he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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