Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
