You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
