Pants 0. Shit 1.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
