I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
