I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
