For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
