My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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