As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
