your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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