even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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