I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
