u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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