I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
