I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
