im drinking this country out of the recession.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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