when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
