I'm so fucking centered right now
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
