i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
