pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
