Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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