i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
