Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
