she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
