just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
