you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize