You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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