youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
a search helicopter?!
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
