I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
