yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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