is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
