do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
