oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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