This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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