So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Randomize
