Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
