I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
