well I can't set my house on fire every night
I wish they made helmets for livers.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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