I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Randomize
