I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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