dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You took a bar mat shot.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
