Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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