but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
we should paint friendship bongs
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
