You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
