Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
