with your own penis?
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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