Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize