these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
