it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
