I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
