Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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