It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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