i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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