My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
