After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
