butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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