Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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