Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
