You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We talked him into tasing himself.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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