After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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