he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize