Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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