Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize