Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
