The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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