before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
