I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
